Sometimes people write to me with random questions and share stories and ask for advice. A couple weeks ago I received an interesting one and I thought I’d share since I think a lot of people can relate. I’m not going to post the whole letter or the specific details, and I’m not going to use names to protect the person who sent it.
She basically said that 2 girls at her school that used to be her friends have started making fun of her- sometimes behind her back and sometimes to her face. And then they started a rumor about her and now other people are making fun of her too.
Before I even start with my advice, I feel like I should apologize on behalf of humans. Sometimes we really are the worst. Sorry that you have to deal with this. But, unfortunately, I feel like we all have had to deal with it at some point. Here’s what I think you should do in three steps:
- Confront them- My mom told me something when I was little that I still remember. Its hard to apply sometimes, but I really do try when people are making fun of me for something. She said not to give them your power. Do not give them the power to hurt you. Whatever it is that they are teasing you about, walk right up to them and tell them to knock it off. It is the year of the clap back, girl. They throw shade, you throw it back and let your sun shine through. Don’t let them think they can easily hurt you or make you cry.
- Ignore it– Once you’ve made it clear you don’t appreciate their obnoxiousness, its time to move on. Don’t give them the satisfaction of acknowledging their silly comments anymore. Go through the halls, the class, or the extracurricular thoroughly unaffected by them anymore. If you are talking to someone and they try to be slick, give them an eye roll and a hair flip and press on with your life.
- Call for reinforcements– if things get out of control and you are feeling threatened or like you can’t catch a break from the haters, its time to call for back up. A parent or a trusted teacher being looped in might be necessary if things start to get out of control. Don’t feel like a crybaby or snitch or any other labels a bully might try to put on you. The truth is you should ALWAYS feel safe within your world and if you don’t, its time to call in an adult for assistance.
Aside from that, remember that you ALWAYS have a friend in me and I’ve got your back. Feel free to write to me if you have any more questions. I’m up to my ears in homework so sometimes I’ll take longer to get back to you, but I will eventually get back to you.